"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." - Thich Nhat Hanh

Sunday, November 21

It's been awhile

   When I actually did blog, I would have never guess I could be any more non existing on blogger, guess I was wrong. I'm sure no one will even noticed this shiny, new post.

   Blog, I've been thinking about you a lot lately. At one point in my life, the thought of you intrigued me so much. It seems I could never get a handle on the whole being a blogger though. I think at one point I had t going pretty well, but I'm pretty sure that was when I had nothing else to do in life (which is kind of ironic, because why would you need a blog, when you'd have nothing interesting to blog about due to the fact that was the most exciting part in life).
   I've had many thoughts of starting you over, and keeping you going for real this time. Keywords this time, as in, I've said that I was going to "start over and keep it going" many, many times. And for that sake, I will not say that. I'll keep pondering the idea though, deal? Deal.

   I don't know if you just realized, but I basically just spoke out to my blog. Not it's readers, but the blog it self. Is it later than I thought? Maybe that Monster energy drink screwed with my head a little too much tonight.

  I've been digging the t-swift music recently. I've been on and off with that for a few years. I'm very fond of that girl and her song writing. I sure do wish she'd write the perfect song for my relationship. I mean, once you can perfectly relate with a Taylor Swift song you have lived! And I'm not talking "oh that reminds me of so and so" or "I can understand Taylor . ." I mean word for word perfect. Call me up Taylor, I'll even help.

Oh, I've kind of been writing snippets of my life in this little black book, maybe I'll quote it for you sometime.

As of now though, I must go to sleep, maybe again soon?

Love, Jamie.

Sunday, October 24

It'll happen.

   To me, It's actually kind of funny that I do not blog. I think my mind thinks as a blogger, if that is even possible. One day, I will have the perfect blog. It will happen, it's a life goal of mine. It will be beautiful, and well written. People will take note to how great of a read it is, and said people will secretly (and not so secretly) stalk it.
   I will be their Megan Abel .

Like I said, it's a dream.

Wednesday, September 8

"Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you."
John 16:22

Friday, September 3

Only 45 more days.

Sometimes, my heart mimics a love song. Others, it screams pessimistic thoughts like no other. It's strange the way things work out, I guess.
Have you heard that dreams always mean something? Maybe the pessimistic side of me encouraged my dream the other night. It was heartbreaking.
In the dream, he had just gotten home. At first, everything was wonderful. We were getting back to our normal routine of hanging out, and the way I like to think of it- back to being in love.
Then, him and I are going on a trip with a group. It turns out he has two other girlfriends that are also there. He's very open about it, and basically thinks he's the stuff. Now, let me point out this is nothing like the real him. I couldn't actually imagine this happening. Anyways, back to the dream.
In the beginning, I'm going along with it because I just can't fathom what is going on exactly. Then , I demand him to choose. Of course, I assume he'll choose me. I mean, why wouldn't he? But I'm sure you can guess what happened next- He chooses another girl.
My eyes begin to tear up, "What?" I stand there in silence for what seems like the longest minute of my entire life while I watch the two of them together with happiness radiating from their bodies.
"What about everything you said? You loved me, you wanted to marry me some day, you were so lucky to have me, I was perfect. What about all that?" I said, then a smile came across his face like it took no effort to speak the words he said next, "I lied."
I could feel those words stabbing me in the heart. I had never experience emotional pain like I had felt, and it was all just a dream.
For the rest of the day, the dream was all I thought about. It was long, and vivid.

Like I mentioned above, I really don't see this happening, but It still hurt. I just wish he was home now, because then I know I wouldn't have thoughts like these. Only forty-five more days, and he's home.
It's already been longer than that since the last time I saw him, and in only seven more days we will have been together for six months.

Tuesday, August 31

My guilty pleasure

Naturally, Miley Cyrus is my jam. Seriously.
I just downloaded all the songs available from her new album on Bee Mp3 (because I wouldn't go as far to pay for it)
I plan to burn it on a disc, and put it in my car. Oh yes, lovely I know.

Give her a change, and have a listen to her new songs. They are very catchy/danceable. I recommend you listen to Liberty Walk first.

Do it.

Sunday, August 29

"Let's do something Crazy"

seven hours later ------> "Oh my goodness, when I said 'let's do something crazy, I was kidding. Tonight was epic."

We went from Mexican to bowling, bowling to the store, the store to Walmart, Walmart to Burger King, Burger King to Walmart, Walmart to C-hill, C-hill to back roads, back roads to my house, my house to Kyle's house, Kyle's house to Lauren's house.

Somewhere in that, it got crazy. Where that was exactly? Your guess is probably as good as mine.

Let's not go into details.

Oh, this is my party hat hahahaha (well picture from online, it looks basically like it.)

Biology will be the death of me.

   Dear Mrs Webb,
 Science classes ruin my life. I honestly believe it's just a bunch of unnecessary writing. I promise I'll never need this in life, I'm sure I can teach seven year olds with out it. Thanks for trying though. How about we make a deal? You pass me, and I'll stop talking in class. You won't have to yell at me ever again. To make sure of that, I'll just go to sleep.
 Sound like a plan? I sure think so.
Love, Jamie. 

Wednesday, August 18

I've said it before, and I'll say it again

I absolutely, positively love Wednesdays. It's my day.

I actually had a legit blog post planned out in my mind, but then . . . .  Brian called.
Shall I remind you, the last day I spoke to him was June 28th.
It was a short phone call, but oh so lovely. He said he'll be calling back Saturday, and it will probably be longer. I am so pumped!

Other than that today, I had a little cleat malfunction. They both tore today, so I had to go buy a new pair. They are beast. Black, with a yellow nike (check mark?)

I also hung out with Carson, which was cool. She came along with me as I bought my new cleats, and we hit up walmart and KFC afterwards.

Church was great. I talked to Brian's parents, which I always loved. I'm boarder line obsessed with his family. Yeah, that's a creeper statement right there. Anyways . . In class we did "Bible drills" and I actually found a few things! haha of course, other people found them first, or Alix, because she always knows. (:

Oh, and I felt important when a girl friend of mine sent me a text asking fashion advice. It feels great having new friends.

This year is starting off great (:

Saturday, August 14

What a wonderful day (:

   Today is the first day I haven't felt like a complete loser in a while.
It started rather early for a Saturday, I woke up and 6:50, and left my house at 7. Then,  I had the joy of riding a bus for an hour and a half to go to our soccer games. We won the first 3-2, and the second we only played one half and then it got called due to the fact the heat index was 107 degrees.
Afterwards, our team hit up Mickey D's and the headed back to the school. Both bus rides there and back I slept mostly.
   I drove home, showered, and then got ready to leave again. I ended up going to eat mexican with Stacey and Katey. The plan was to go to the football jamboree afterwards, but it was delayed because of the heat. So then we went to Sonic, the dollar store, and Staci's house for around ten minutes. About that time, it was time for the games to start.
   We paid for our way in, and found a seat. Then, Lauren enlightened me with the fact that it was delayed another half hour because of lightening. For a little while, we stuck around and talked to Kelsy, but then it looked as if it was about to pour any minute so we headed back to my car. Less than a minute after we got in, the rain started fallen.
   We made a trip to Shell, and then back to Stacey's house. Katey had to leave not that long after we got that, but I stuck around and talked to Staci for a while. It was quite enjoyable, I haven't really ever hung out with her, but she's always been around. She's a soccer manager, and she goes to my church. As a matter of fact, she's riding with me to church in the morning.

Good day, I'd say (: